


Build Me up Just to break me down

by jaymamazing



Series: Build me up, Just to break me down [1]
Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-12
Updated: 2011-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-13 15:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaymamazing/pseuds/jaymamazing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris's friend Jayma tries to help him out of his depression after Zach left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad Romance

**Author's Note:**

> I f-ed up on how I went about posting this on here, so I deleted the whole series, and am now re-posting.

“Are you okay Chris?” Jayma asks. She says this in a genuinely concerned manner, as the past couple of months, her best friend has seemed down in the dumps.

“Yeah.” Chris clears his throat. “Yeah. I'm fine. Why do you ask, J?” he asks calmly.

Chris is not sure if his friend is on to the fact that he's depressed about Zach leaving. He knows he's tried his best to hide it, but it seems that his hard work is not working.

“You just seem. I don't know. Depressed. You haven't been out in months unless I drag you out, or if you're forced to go somewhere, like say an event or when you were doing plays.” She replies. “And it seems like you've only been this way since, well, you know who left. Is that what it is? Do you miss Zach?”

“NO.” Chris says angrily.

J is not shocked at the way Chris has answered her question. She kind of figured that it would be his reaction, but not as angry and he was just now.

“J. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. You were just asking if I was sad about Zach leaving. Would you not be this way if say, Adam left?”

“Yea I would. But not for six months, babe.”

Just as Chris asks Jayma if she would be depressed if her husband left, Adam walks into the room. It was almost like he knew that he was being talked about or something.

“Hey James. We need to get going. Bring Chris if you need, but we're going to be late if you don't.” Adam says, reminding Jayma that if they don't go now, they will miss the movie.

“C'mon. It'll be good for you Chris. When was the last time you went out to see a movie with friends?” She asks, even though she's pretty sure she knows what the answer will be.

Chris starts to say he doesn't want to barge into Jayma and Adam's date night, when Adam himself starts pushing him out the door, insisting that he join. Though he's not sure why Adam is doing this as the two of them haven't always been best of friends.

******

“So what do you want to do today babe?” Zach asks.

“Honestly, I just want to stay in. With you. And do nothing.” Chris responds.

“But that's going to be boring, doing nothing all day Chris. Why can't we go out. It's my last week here before going to New York.”

“That's kind of the point Z. I want to stay in and do nothing with you so i can be with you. No one else. And not have to worry about the paps. Plus doing nothing leaves us time to do 'other things' if you can catch my drift.” Chris says the last line with an eyebrow wiggle, and some hand movements showing Zach what he wants to do when he says he wants to do “nothing”.  
“Oh.” Is all Zach says.

Instead of hurting Chris's feelings with what he wants to say, Zach instead leans and gives his boyfriend the sloppiest kiss ever.

“Let's go see whats on tv.” He says to Chris.

The lyrics to Jason Mraz's “Lucky” plays in the background in the form of a Glee cover from the past weeks episode while Zach and Chris continue to do 'nothing' on the couch.

After what seems like hours on the couch of heavy making out, Zach suggests they move what was going on to the bedroom.

“Zach.” Chris says, whimpering.

“Chris. What is it now?.”

“Just let me come. You know. I hate it. When you. Do this to me.” he says, out of breath, and tied to bed wearing nothing but whipped cream, which is starting to drip places where whipped cream shouldn't be.

“Do what to you Chris?” Zach says, starting to lick off the melting whipped cream.

Just as Zach is licking the whipped cream off, the phone rings.

“Don't what so ever answer that Z.”

“Why not?”

Chris leans forward trying to do what ever he can to stop Zach from answering the phone, failing to do so, because of the restraints. Plus there's the fact that it seems like he is strategically sitting far enough away from Chris so that he cannot do exactly that.

A few minutes pass, and Chris starts to worry that Zach is not coming back into the room for a while. He’s still on the phone, and judging by what he can hear its good news, but won’t be for him.

******

After a 10 minute drive, a 5 minute line up to get tickets, and a quick stop at the snack bar, Chris, Adam and Jayma finally reach their seats to watch the movie. Since it was Jayma’s choice to pick the movie this week, she had Chris pick it. She figured he needed a good pick me up and what better way then having him choose the movie.

Oddly enough though, Chris’s movie choice added to the list of things he misses about Zach. And J picked up on that. Considering this particular movie had been ‘Harold and Maude’ and coincidentally only back out in theatres this week.

“So tell me again Chris why exactly are we at the theatres watching a movie from the 70s, when we could be watching something like say ‘Jackass 3D’ or ‘Red’?” Adam asks, even though the answer is so obvious.

Picking up on the question her husband just asked Chris, she nudges Adam not to bug her friend with questions like that.

“Adam. Shut up. Let’s just watch this movie. Plus you never know, you might actually like it too.” Jayma whispers.

About an hour and a half later, the movie is over, and the mood Chris was in earlier hadn’t been changed.

“Maybe Adam was right.” Chris thought to himself. “Maybe if I hadn’t of chosen a movie just because Zach liked it, I would be feeling a bit happier, instead of even more depressed.”

“Let’s go get drinks.” Chris suggests, thinking that maybe drinks will perk him back up and get his friend off his case of being ‘down in the dumps’.

*********

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to re-assemble it.

“I really like this song you know.” Chris says, holding Zach in his arms as they slowly dance in the middle of the room at the engagement party.

“What if we used this at the wedding.”

“Chris. I don’t really care what song is playing as long as you’re the one I’m dancing with.” Zach says, trying his best not to come off as overly romantic.

And I've always lived like this keeping a comfortable, distance. And up until now I swore to myself that I'm content with loneliness, 'cause none of it was ever worth the risk.

‘The only exception’ keeps playing in the background as Zach and Chris continue to dance. They might be the only couple left on the dance floor, but its their engagement party, so they don’t care.

******  
“Chris, before you get wasted, why can’t you just tell me what happened between you and Zach. It might help to talk.” Jayma asks while taking her seat at one of the tables in the bar.

“J, please. I really don’t want to go back to that night. My happy days are over. I don’t even know how to be happy any more ever since he walked out.”

“Then why don’t I go up to the bartender, get our drinks, and you tell Adam while I’m gone. Have a heart to heart. If not, I’ll get it out of you when your drunk and hitting on anything that a pulse in here.”

“No J. I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll talk when I’m good and ready.” He says, just a bit meaner then he expected.

After snapping at Jayma like that, Chris decides that it would be best if he were the one to go get the drinks. He knows he hurt his friend, and even though Jaymes knew he didn’t mean it the way he did, it still hurt her.

“Two beers, whatever you got on tap, and a Zack Attack.”

While waiting for the drinks to be made, Chris grabs his phone and checks his messages. Like he has been doing ever since Zach left. Seeing that he in fact has no messages, he sends a text to Zach saying “I miss you”.

Just as Chris finishes sending the text, he gets a tap on his shoulders. When he turns around, its Jayma, with her hand out, signaling that she wants his phone.

“Just hand the phone over, Chris. You’re going to need help anyways carrying those drinks in a minute and your jeans don’t have pockets.”

The bartender clears his throat and gets ready to tell Chris’s drinks are in front of him when Jayma clues in and grabs her drink and his phone.


	2. Happy Days are Over

“Chris, why are there 5 messages to Zach saying you miss him?” Jayma says with a concerning look on her face

“Jay, before you freak out, let me tell you that it's not what you think.”

“Yes Chris. It completely is what I think it is. You know he moved on. So why are you trying to fuck this up for him?”

“Hey guys, I don't think this is the best place for this argument of yours,” Adam says, cutting in after waiting 10 minutes for Chris to come back with his drink.

“Adam’s right Jay. We'll talk about this later. But right now I just want to get pissed drunk and forget about the past six months.”

Jayma backs down, and takes her husband out to the dance floor, in hopes of giving her friend some space.

*******

 

“Hey have you seen Chris around here, Karl?” Zach asks. It's been about two hours since he last saw his boyfriend, and he's getting worried. Afraid that Chris is off somewhere starting a fist fight over Zach, he goes off to find him before it becomes too late.

“No dude. But the last time I did see him, he was off in a corner reading one of my kid's text books brought home from school. And he looked like he was enjoying it.”

“Shit, thanks Karl,” Zach replies.

Karl starts to say something, but Zach had already run off to find out which corner Chris was in. He figures that if Chris is reading and enjoying an elementary level text book, its time to go home.

It takes him about half an hour to find Chris, thanks to all the people that Karl had and hadn't invited to his party, but when he finally does, it's too late. Chris is already wrapped in a blanket on the floor of Karl's bedroom, snoring away. Zach tries to nudge him, but it doesn't work.

“Chris, wake the fuck up. We're going home.” he yells, but even that doesn't help.

He's just shy of pouring water over Chris when Karl's wife Natalie comes in.

“Zach, just put him in our bed if you can. You're in no shape or form to drive, and neither is he. Just promise me that there absolutely won't be any sex going on in our bed between you two, again.” she says.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I am.”

“Then I promise we won't have sex in your bed, again.”

“Thanks. Considering I just finished cleaning those sheets from the last time you guys used our bed.”

 

*******

Chris had just finished his third drink when out of the corner of his eye, he sees Matt.

“Jayma, Adam, you need to take me home, no questions asked,” he says adamantly.

“Fine. We had already seen Matt come in anyways.” Adam responds.

“And in case you were wondering, that's Matt's brother. Not someone he was seeing on the side of Zach,” he continues.

Jayma, Chris and Adam make a beeline for the club's exit when Jay sees someone at the bar who looks a lot like Zach.

“Just keep walking. And whatever you do, don't look to your right, OK Chris?” Jay says.

The three of them make it safely to the next available cab when Chris's phone starts buzzing.

“Who is it Chris?” Jay says, with a semi concerning look on her face.

“Oh its no one. Don't worry about it Jaymes.” he replies, though his facial expression says otherwise.

The ride to Chris’s home is uneventful, minus the few snores coming from him, and the texts being sent to him that ‘no one’ is sending him.


	3. Come on get Happy

After a long night of drinking, Chris wakes up with a hangover, which is coincidentally something he hasn’t had in ages. He’s about to get up out of bed, when he hears voices coming from his kitchen. Instinctively he calls out Jayma’s name, as she was the last person he had talked to.

“Jayma? Adam? Is that you?” he calls.

“No Chris. It’s me, John.” A voice yells back. “I got a bunch of random messages from Zach last night saying to come over and check on you. Which was odd, since I thought you two weren’t speaking.” John continues.

He’s about to reply when he hears another friend of his in the background.

“What the fuck? Karl, is that you? Please tell me it’s just the two of you, and not some intervention.” Chris starts in on the two of them. “It’s too early and I'm hungover. Surely you can understand that.” They makes noises of protest, but he cuts his friends off before they can speak.

“Chris, buddy, it’s three in the afternoon. You’ve been asleep since two this morning when Jayma and her husband brought you home.” John replies, before Chris can cut him off again.

“And no Chris, there isn’t going to be an intervention.” Karl adds. “Though from what good ol’ John here told me, it sounds like you need one.” He continues.

“Wait, its 3 o’clock? How long have you two been here for then? And seriously, how the fuck did you get in?” Chris asks.

“For starters, why don’t you come out of that bedroom of yours and join us? We’ve been here since 9am, as promised. Considering you said you’d join us for brunch and gave us a key last week. You don’t remember?” Karl responds, laughing slightly.

It’s Karl’s laugh that makes Chris realize something is up. If he had in fact make plans with the two of them, he certainly wouldn’t have forgotten and gone out the night before to drink his heart out.

“Come on. Be serious Karl.” Chris says while walking into his living room, expecting only to find Karl and John.

It is then that he hears a familiar voice coming from the kitchen, who is neither John or Karl nor their wives. He hears that the voice is on the phone, and can hear the telltale noises of coffee being made. It’s enough to stop Chris dead in his tracks.

“Uh, hi? Zach?” Chris says, his anger starting to rise. “Please explain why you’re here in my kitchen. Making MY coffee.” he asks, annoyed.

But before the older man can say anything, Chris is already rounding on Karl and John. “Why the fuck did you bring him, of all people, here?” He yells, his temper rising even more.

“Chris, we uh, we have to go.” Karl and John say simultaneously.

“Zachary. I hope you will be joining them too.”

But they are both gone before Zach has a chance to answer.

“Chris, before you freak out, you need to let me explain.” Zach says, as he walks into Chris’s living room, obviously expecting him to follow. “You need to let me explain why I left. And how torn up I was the whole time I was gone. Never mind the fact that I came back for you.”

It’s at that point where Zach starts to see a change in Chris’s mood. He’s not sure if it’s the fact that Chris is beginning to calm down or if this is only the calm before the storm.

“Chris, please say something. You’re unusually quiet.”

“Zach, what exactly do you mean when you say you came back? For me.”

“I did. I came back for you. Because I couldn’t stand to live without you for that long. And I’ve done the New York thing. It was terrible. Sure, I got a few theater jobs, but it wasn’t the same. I didn’t have any one to share the experience with. But this time around, I had you. but you weren’t there.”

“I thought you loved New York. What happened? And don’t give me a bogus line saying it’s because I wasn’t there. There has to be something more to that, that you’re not telling me.”

“It’s hard to explain. I loved it at first, but I grew tired of it. It might have been because that last play wore me out having it every single night for 5 months straight. Sure, we film movies for longer then that, but there were always breaks. But the breaks I got during the play was mostly spent going over that nights performance and how I can do better for the next night, or going to events the same night.”

“I’m still not buying it Zach.”

“You might not buy it for a while, but it’s the truth. I don’t know what you’re looking to find. Sure, I love New York. I loved it. But I need to know what will make you believe that.”

“Then what are we going to do about it?”

“What do you mean what are going to do about it?” Zach asks, confused.

“Well aren’t you still with that Matt Bomer guy I saw you with last night?”

“Matt? Him? Really? You thought I was with Matt?”

“So then why did I see you there with him last night? You guys looked together.”

“Pine, just because two people look together, doesn’t mean they are together.”

“So if you guys aren’t together, and you’re here, what does that mean for us? You just left without an explanation, and it hurt.”

Knowing that Chris can sometimes go off on a tangent, Zach decides to take matters into his own hands and show him what it means for the two of them, pulling him into a rough, sloppy kiss.

Leading them into Chris’s bedroom, between the heavy petting and kissing, Zach confirms that Chris does in fact want to go back to bed.

“Are you sure you want to do this with me again, relationship wise?” Zach asks, while fumbling to unbutton Chris’s jeans.

“Zach, there’s too much talking going on here. ” Chris replies, his breath starting to stagger.

Zach takes the hint and pulls off Chris’s shirt, stopping to kiss the crook in his neck that he had tried to forget, but never did.

Chris then leads them from the door way and onto his bed, where he can finally help Zach out of his clothes.

Although things are heating up fast, Zach is seemingly trying to keep things slow, even with his hand softly stroking Chris’s cock.

“Zach, just hurry the fuck up and fuck me already” Chris says, his breath staggering faster and faster by the moment.

Chris doesn’t have to say anything more, as Zach is already fumbling through the drawer beside the bed, successfully finding the bottle of lube and the condom that is always there.

Before Chris even gets a chance to take a quick but longing look at the man before him, Zach already has the condom on, and is getting ready to stretch Chris.

It doesn’t take Zach long until Chris is nicely stretched, and able to fit himself inside.

Although Chris is ready and waiting for Zach, he takes his time working himself into the tight heat that is the younger man’s body.

He’s half way in, when he lets out a hiss at the feeling of being back in someone who has so much history with him.

“I. missed. this.” Chris breathlessly pants with each hit to Zach’s prostate

Zach slides himself in and out of Chris a while longer to get the rhythm right before giving Chris a hand at jacking himself off.

Its not long after when the two of them are ready to come, and Chris has a small request for Zach before they do.

“Mm-mm” Zach moans, unsure if Chris understood this was supposed to be a yes.

“I want to watch you come on me” Chris asks, whimpering as his orgasm reaches closer and closer.

“I’ll come on you, but you can’t watch.” Zach replies, breath staggering. “You should’ve remembered it’s one or the other.”

He continues to help Chris by lightly tugging and pulling adding a few rubs of his thumb across the slit of his cock before Chris is at edge.

Chris breathes out a sigh of frustration when Zach won't let him watch, but begs for it instead

“Please Zach?” Chris begs, while letting a quiet vaunt escape him.

“Please Zach, what?” Zach replies, while continuing to rub his thumb over Chris’s slit.

“Please Zach. Let me watch you.” He says, breath continuing to falter more and more as he reaches closer to his climax.

“Let’s just deal with you first.” Zach says as he reaches closer to his orgasm more and more as well. “Plus, I like how you’re begging for it.”

Astonished at how long he has lasted without coming himself this whole time, Zach speeds up the way he is rubbing his thumb and returns to lightly tugging and pulling at Chris to reach his orgasm, as intense as possible. Its not long after adding the tugging and pulling when Chris starts uncontrollably spurting thick ropes of come all over Zach’s hand and his lower half of his stomach.

“Zach. Please, will you let me watch you come on me?” Chris manages to gasp out. “Please? For me?”

“Chris, for you, I will.” Zach says, his breath getting the better of him. “You know I would do anything for you as long as you begged like you just did.”

Zach accelerates the speed of his thrusts as he works himself in and out of Chris moving faster and harder now that has decided to let himself come. He thrusts in and out a bit more before he explodes, his come spurting out over Chris’s lower half of his stomach, still letting Chris watch, instead of covering his eyes, or looking down.

Almost out of breath completely, Chris decides to be the responsible one and have them go clean up and maybe take a shower. After all, it is his bed and he really isn’t up for cleaning up a crust mess of sweat and come off of the sheets and blankets.

“Zach, lets go for a shower and clean up.” Chris suggests

“No, let’s just stay here and fall asleep” He replies, his rushing pulse calming and his breath slowing with his heart.

“We could, but I don’t feel like having to clean up the mess in the morning.”

“Just come back to bed” Zach says with a face that could change anyone's mind. “I’ll help clean up in the morning.”

After being apart for so long, Chris falls prey to Zach’s face and slips back into bed. It doesn’t take long for the two to fall asleep soundly in each others arms.


	4. 2 am

The next morning Chris wakes up to a phone ringing and someone beside him babbling in their sleep.

“Mmmmm no mom. No I don’t wanna go out. I wanna stay in. And sleeep. Sleep is goooood.”

Chris leans over and hits Zach with a pillow trying to wake him up as his phone is ringing.

“What do you mean answer my phone? My phone is off. It’s yours that is ringing, ass.” Zach replies, rolling over to go back to sleep.

It turns out to just be a text from Karl wondering how last night went, without all the details that happened in between. He turns off the phone completely, deciding that when they finally wake back up, that he’d answer any texts or calls he gets.

“Just a text from Karl. I turned off the phone. Let’s go back to bed” Chris suggests, rubbing his eye.

Zach had already taken him up on that suggestion as he is quickly back to sleep before Chris can say anything more. Chris more then willing joins him, cuddling into Zach’s back, draping an arm around him.

They sleep for another couple hours when Chris’ morning jog alarm goes off. He lets Zach sleep and wakes up as silent as possible to change. He’s gotten into a routine that he doesn’t want to disturb just because someone spent the night.

“Zach. Gone for a jog. Will talk when I get back.” Chris writes on a note before leaving for his run.

During his run, Chris finds time to think about the past 6 months, his relationship with Zach, and of course last night.

But I was in love with Zach. Chris thinks to himself

But he hurt you. Look how he made you feel when he walked out on you like that.

He said he wanted me to come chase him

He’s using you.

Zach can’t be using me. He’s not like that. Never was never will be.

His mind continues to think that way for a little longer until he has to stop and catch his breath. It seemed the more he thought that way, the faster he ran, and the harder his lungs closed in, causing him to lose focus. So he stops and checks his phone, making use of his break, to see if Zach had left him any indication that he woke up and found the note.

After a 5 minute break from running, he figures that no message from Zach means he’s not up yet, and runs back to his starting point.

Just talk to him. It’s now or never Chris thinks to himself, again.

I know. I know, but last night was something. Something else. And I don’t want to ruin that with a “Zach we need to discuss our relationship” chat.

Apparently thinking to himself back and forth made time go faster. He wasn’t sure if it’s because he didn’t go as far as usual, or if the now or never scenario of talking to his friend took over his legs and made him run faster. When he gets back to his apartment though, he discovers that it was not a discussion he was looking forward to doing, but rather more seeing Zach once more.

“Hey Zach. I don’t know if you got my note or not, but I’m back from my run.” He calls out.

After a minute or two of silence, he goes into the bedroom to see why Zach wasn’t answering. He thought that maybe he was still asleep, but it was unlike him to sleep past nine. The bed is made, but Zach’s clothes from the night before are still there, causing Chris to become a little more confused as where he could have went while he was out.

Figuring that Zach is currently MIA and he has just come back from an hour’s long run or so, Chris thinks it’s a good time for a shower. Maybe standing underneath boiling hot water will help him think clearer, as his run did not do so.


	5. Grenade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris comes back from his jog. They fight, argue, cry and make up.

“Zach. I’m home from my jog if you got my note.” Chris yells out, in case Zach was still hanging around.

After a few minutes of settling back in, grabbing a water, and no response from Zach, Chris decides that its time for a shower even if Zach is still asleep.

He brings the water he grabbed from the fridge and walks to his room expecting to take a shower alone. Though what he finds in his room, is enough to startle him. His room is tidied, bed freshly made, with new sheets of course, and clothing on the chair beside the dresser; but no evidence of Zach.

“Hmmm” Chris thinks to himself, out loud and in confusion.

He dismissed the missing person, and starts undressing for his after jog shower.

“Oh. Oh. Oh my god. So Sorry” Chris yelps out in shock, after walking in and finding Zach currently using his shower.

“Chris why are you so shocked and confused? It’s not like you haven’t seen all this before.” Zach says while waving his hands up and down pointing at his whole body.

“Never mind. I’ll let you finish showering.” Chris replies, heading toward his living room area to see what’s on the t.v while he waits.

Ten minutes or so later, Zach comes into the room, soaking wet, wearing only a towel around his waist. “Chris bud, do you happen to have anything you haven’t been seen wearing so I can go home in later?” He coyly asks.

Chris responds by shaking his head no all while keeping his focus on what was on t.v.

Adamant to get Chris’ attention, Zach walks further into the living room, coming face to face with Chris, and asks again if he could borrow clothes.

“No Zach. Like I just said, I don’t have anything you could borrow. And could you get the fuck out of my living room carpet while your soaking wet?” He harshly responds.

Zach of course, does nothing but moves even closer towards Chris.

“Cut it out man. Go get dressed. I need to talk to you about last night and our relationship with you. Got it?” Chris continues, voice raising with even more anger in it.

“Yeah. Sure. Whatever you say Chris.” Zach responds, as a devious smile begins to form at the ends of his mouth.

Chris is about to say something when Zach leans in even closer, kissing him, and pushing Chris further into the couch.

[i]Oh shit. [/i]Chris thinks to himself, [i]He’s trying to kiss me. What the hell does he want from me?[/i]

Not getting any response from Chris, Zach tries harder, demanding his tongue’s entrance into Chris’ mouth.

Unable to hold back any longer, Chris finds himself letting Zach’s tongue in, as well as reciprocating and kissing back.

After a few minutes of letting Zach get his way, Chris stops the kiss, knowing that it’s now or never if he wants a discussion.

“We really do need to talk Zach. You know that, and I know that.” He starts out. “Just tell me the truth. Why’d you leave.” Chris blatantly asks.

“I don’t know. I was scared. Scared shitless of it all.” Zach replies a little too rehearsed.

“Bullshit.”

“Chris. What do you want me to say? That I lead you on? Or that we moved too fast and I needed out?”

“Maybe” Chis replies, moving to another area in the room, away from the couch that was currently occupied by Zach.

“Chris I honestly don’t know why I left. And when I did, I expected you to come chase after me, which you clearly never did.”

“What you did Zach, it was fallacious. You hurt me. You really really hurt me. And then to hear rumours that you left me for that Matt Bomer dude, well that made it even worse. I wasn’t even able to leave this apartment after that, you hurt me that bad. Three years and you fucking just walk out?” Chris says, all too angrily feeling the pain coming back.

“Chris I’m sorry. I don’t know what I can say or do to prove it. But I am.” Zach sincerely replies.

“And get the fuck off my couch. You’re still in a soaking wet towel.” Chris says, feeling the tears well back up.

Zach agrees to get his wet ass off the couch, but instead of going to go put clothes on, he walks to where Chris is, and gives him the biggest and tightest hug possible. “Chris I really am sorry.”

Chris struggles to get out of the hug, but every time he tries harder, Zach just holds him even closer and tighter. He kisses him softly on his forehead and holds him there until he feels Chris is ready to be let go.

Unsure of what to do next, Chris looks up into Zach’s eyes, and gives him the softest kiss on the lips.

“I really do need to go shower now Zach. And you really need to go find some clothes to change into.”

“I know. I’ll just go call Joe and ask him to bring me something to wear.”

“No no. Go check the spare room’s closet.”

“Should I even ask?”

“Unless you want to see me cry again, I highly suggest you don’t.”

“Okay, but before you go for your shower, please let me do something for you.” Zach says, giving a slight wink at the end.

“Not right now Zach. I’m not really up for anything.”

He hears what Chris is saying, but he continues to move the two of them towards Chris’s bedroom, pulling his hand ever so slightly.

“Don’t worry Chris. It won’t be too much of that. You just lay back and relax on the bed.” Zach says, leaning in to his neck, lightly kissing it, and sucking the skin at the same time.

Chris obeys, and lies on his back, and immediately, his pants and shirt are being worked on being taken off. He slightly jumps when Zach first kisses the bare patch of skin between his shirt and pants, before pulling Chris’s pants off completely.

“I have to admit. You do know how to make me feel better, a bit.”

“Shh. Not now. Just lie back and enjoy this.” Zach says, pulling his underwear off at the same time.

He leans back up to give one more kiss, this time not needing to force his tongue into Chris’s mouth. After that, he kisses his neck, then his clavicle, then his chest. After kissing Chris’ chest, he works in a straight line, down his stomach, and stops at Chris’s hipbones. Starting at his right hipbone, he licks a line towards his left hip, and then blows over top of it right back to his right hipbone.

Hovering over Chris’s hardening cock, he hears wanton cries leave his lover’s lips. Taking it as a sign, Zach begins to take all of Chris into his mouth, little bits at a time, teeth softly grazing skin.

Trying a new technique, Zach twists his head side to side in a corkscrew motion, while softly sucking the base of Chris’s cock. This move, has Chris moaning in bliss, all the while trying to create a mental note for later when he asks Zach where and how he learned that new trick. Zach continues that move a bit longer, before making his way down the shaft of Chris’s cock.

He continues his way down the shaft, grazing the sensitive skin with his teeth a bit, moving side to side still, until he’s nearer to the head of Chris’s cock. He stops, teasing once more before changing speed and intensifies the sucking, knowing this is going to start to finish him off. Zach moves back up the base, taking as much of Chris as he can, and begins to knead and fondle Chris’s balls a bit. Seconds later, he sucks harder, while slowly moving towards the tip of his cock, almost as if he was literally sucking all the come out of Chris. It’s not long after where Chris himself is coming, sending hot spurts of come down Zach’s throat.

He licks Chris’s slit while he comes, taking as much of it as he can, with some dripping outside of his mouth. Zach keeps Chris enveloped in his mouth, letting him go flaccid before letting Chris out of his mouth.

Zach wipes his mouth clean of what he wasn’t able to swallow, before making his way to the top of the bed again, where he and Chris meet for a long sloppy kiss.

Out of breath, Chris gives Zach a thank you so soft, that Zach himself almost couldn’t hear it. Before he’s able to say “you’re welcome” Chris is already spinelessly nuzzled into him, fast asleep.

They lie there cuddled into each other for a couple of hours; Chris sound asleep, body spent, and Zach, admirably watching Chris, his lover, sleep.


	6. Just the way you are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris and Zach can’t get enough of each other. Their friends and family haven’t seen them in ages. Jealousy ensues.

It’s been a month, two weeks, and 1 day since he and Chris had a fight, then got back together. But Zach totally wasn't keeping track of the time.

“So Z. What do you have planned today? Dax is on set and I have some news I'd love to tell you. Plus I haven't seen you, in like forever.” Kristen asks, while on the phone to her friend for the first time since he got home, last month “You need to fill me in on your life, more specifically, the reunion between you and Chris.”

“Kris, I'd love to, but I'm kind of swamped. Maybe next week sometime?” Zach answers, feeling bad for lying to her.

“I've heard it’s been going well for you two, which is why I think you can leave Chris for an afternoon and hang out with me. When was the last time the two of you left the house anyways?”

“We have too left the house. But I can't today.”

“Fine. But leaving the house to buy more lube and condoms does not count as leaving the house. And if you decide to see fresh air, you know where I'll be.” Kristen says, before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

Zach has barely hung up the phone from talking about his relationship to Kristen, when in walks Chris, wearing next to nothing, about to go for a shower. He shoots Zach a 'come hither' look, in which Zach can't get out of his clothes fast enough while sprinting to the bathroom door.

*

“Hey guys. It's just me Karl. Haven't heard from the two of you in a while, so I figured I'd give a call and check in. Nat and I are in town for a couple of weeks and wanted to know if you guys wanted to get together.” The answering machine plays while Chris is on the couch with Zach, exploring each others mouths.

For a split second, Chris moves away from Zach. “Why does everyone want to hear from us all of a sudden?” He asks, before going back to explore some more.

Zach just shrugs, letting Chris's tongue in his mouth again.

They turn the music that's playing in the background up a bit before they move onto other parts of each other they hadn't explored at that moment yet.

*

“Chris! It's me John. Call me back when you can. Thought it'd be nice to meet up for coffee and catch up.” Chris reads, checking his phone for a split second. Though, like he has been doing lately, disregards the text and goes back to the massage he was giving Zach.

It's another whole week or two of this before their answering machines and SIM cards are full of messages asking for them to get together with friends and family.

“Should we give in and see what's up with everyone wanting to know if we're alive or not? We definitely do need to get coffee with Karl and John.” Chris asks, making the bed, again, for the third time this week.

“And Kristen. But why? We’re clearly alive because every now and then we do answer the phone, don’t we?” Zach says, giving the tiniest wink at the end of his sentence.

It’s the wink that sends Chris over the edge, and leaping back into bed, trying to rip Zach’s clothes off, and quickly as possible.

An hour later, and another five phone calls from friends, Chris takes initiative and decides that they should get out and see what everyone wants.

Zach and Chris shower alone, agreeing that if they’re going to be doing things separately, that the shower should be what gets done alone as well.

About twenty minutes later, and they’re both showered when Kristen comes up to the house and knocks at the door. Chris of course answers, but wearing a shirt and underwear.

“Chris, honey, if you plan on going out, you might want to get dressed. And off my best friend.” She jokingly says, adding a hello in there somewhere as well.

Kristen also takes the lack of clothing on Chris to mean Zach is wearing either the same, or even less.

Noticing how embarrassed Kristen might be right now, Chris leaves the room to go finish changing, and to let Zach know she’s here; even if he already knew that. Passing her though, he notices something is different with her, but shrugs it off thinking it might just be that she went for a tan, or changed her hair or clothes, or something else.

“Krissy bear, I’ll be right out. I’m almost done changing.” Zach says, laughing at the fact Chris is also there trying to do something to him where he is extremely ticklish. When he leaves the room, Chris takes this as his opportunity to get changed and call his parents saying he’ll be over soon.

Ten minutes later, Zach and Kristen are in a barrel of laughs from what’s been happening to her, when Chris says he’s off, and gives Zach a kiss goodbye.

“Chris, I’ll see you later” Zach manages to shout out before Chris shuts the door completely.

*  
He’s only been at his parents for a couple of hours, when his mom is already reaching to take out her pad of paper and pen, all the while trying to analyze her son’s emotions.

“Mom. Please, could you not treat me like one of your patients err clients right now? I’m perfectly fine, and not sinking into a depression with Zach being at home again.” Chris cries out, when Gwynne asks him about how he feels about Zach being back after so long and expecting things to go back to how they were before it all.

“I’m just concerned honey. It wasn’t even two months ago when you wouldn’t leave the house because you were depressed. Now with Zach being back, and you two being back in a relationship, you still won’t leave the house, but for completely different reasons.” Gwynne explains, though quickly ending it when she sees her son isn’t liking being a “patient” as well as a son. It could have also been because her daughter, Katie, was giving her a face that could be known as the ‘stink eye’.

“I for one am glad Zach is back, bro” Katie teasingly ads. “The two of you clearly make each other happy; and if you’re happy, I’m happy.” She adds, as Chris shoots her a look, while whispering a “thank you” her way.

They continue chatting like this for the next hour or so, until Chris gets a text from Zach saying Kristen’s news, and wondering how dinner is going.

“Mom, Dad, is it okay if I cut dinner short? Za-- I mean John is wondering if i could meet him to discuss something and to catch up.” Chris asks, trying his hardest to make sure he doesn’t mention Zach’s name, or even fucking him when he gets home.

“Sure son. Go hang out with John.” His father, Robert says, adding emphasis to John’s name.

“Thanks Dad.”

They say their goodbyes, and Chris promises to have a proper lunch with his sister sometime next week, to catch up with Zach as well.

*

“So Krist, what did you want to tell me?” Zach asks, noticing how she always dodges the question he keeps asking.

Kristen just gives an innocent ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about look’ his way and diverts the conversation, again.

“You’re glowing.”

“No I’m not.” She says smiling, but still trying to be as believable as possible.

“No way.” Zach says, realizing what could make his best friend glow the way she is.

Kristen just sits there, saying nothing, but smiling then nodding, then smiling some more, which starts to bug the hell out of Zach as she is at her most quietest when she keeps a secret he’s figuring out.

“For how long?” Zach asks, hoping this will get her to talk.

“How long for what? I have no clue what you’re talking about.” She says sarcastically.

Zach and Kristen’s conversation continues on this way for a while longer, until Zach can’t take it any more and starts talking about the pregnancy and only that.

“Judging by the glow you’re sporting, I’d say you’re about six weeks? Krissy bear, just tell me. Who am I going to tell?”

Kristen shakes her head, without a smile this time.

“Just tell me.”

“There’s no secret Honey bee.”

“Yes there is. Don’t deny it” Zach says, winking at the end.

“I know I know. It’s just that I haven’t told Dax yet......”

“So you admit that you’re pregnant.”

“Fine. Yes. I’m pregnant. But you can’t tell anyone. Not even Chris.”

“What? Why would I tell him?” Zach says, quickly making sure his friend doesn’t see the text he just sent Chris.

“Can we move somewhere else Zach? Like say the couch?” Kristen asks, getting more and more uncomfortable at the kitchen table as they speak. “I’m starting to get uncomfortable sitting at the table for this long.”

“Sure. Why don’t I put some coffee on and you go watch TV in the living room or something?”

“Thanks bee. You have no idea how hard it is to sit in that position for long periods of time now a days.”

“But you’re only six weeks in. You shouldn’t be that uncomfortable yet. Something else I should know about?”

“Nahh Z, just not used to these chairs anymore. I was like this the first time I sat here too, remember?” She clarifies, making sure to note it’s not the pregnancy that’s causing her to be uncomfortable sitting there.

Zach puts the coffee on, and goes to join Kristen on the couch in the next room. They take turns fighting over the remote, and then arguing what to watch, only to settle on watching the marathon of Sex and the City re-runs on one of the cable channels.

They get half way into the second episode of the show when Chris walks in, in a bad mood. He completely ignores the two on the couch, and heads straight for the bedroom, grabbing a book off the shelf when he passes it. Zach takes this as a hint that something is up, and decides to check up on him real quick.

“Krist, I’ll be right back. He looks upset.”

“Go. I understand. I’ll be here watching the girls on TV.”

Before going into the bedroom, Zach stops at the book shelf to see which book Chris had taken. He knows that when the other is in a certain mood, he will take a book off the shelf to let him know what mood he is in. This time, it had been a book telling Zach that he was in a ‘leave me alone for a bit, please’ mood. Zach of course, ignores the sign. Though he does softly rap at the door, just to let Chris know he was coming in, whether or not he liked it.

“Chris, what’s going on. You took out ‘The Great Gatsby’. You only read that lately when you’re upset.”

“So?”

“Something happen at your parents? Paps see you heading your way here and decide to attack you for photographic evidence of where you live? Mom ask you personal things about us again?”

“The latter. She asked why we I let you back in after everything you did.”

“Oh.”

“Yea. Which brings up the fact that you still haven’t told me the whole reason why you left in the first place.”

“I know. But do we have to do that now? Everything is going good, and almost everyone is happy we’re back together. And Kristen is here, so I don’t think she wants to hear us arguing, if that happens.”

“Fine. Please tell me soon though?”

Zach leans in to give Chris a hug, then leaves the room to go back to hanging out with Kristen. When he has left the room fully, Chris pulls out the book that would have alarmed Zach if he saw what he was reading. Which of course happened to be a book of Sylvia Plath’s poems.

A couple hours and a coffee pot later, Kristen leaves, making sure to give Chris and extra tight hug, as she knows something is wrong, but doesn’t know what’s going on in his mind. Chris shoots Zach a look, confused as to why Kristen was doing this. Zach just shrugs, making it seem like he doesn’t know why. When in fact, he does.

When Kristen is gone, and already out of the drive way, Zach pulls Chris in for a longing kiss, hoping that that will take some stuff off of Chris’s mind for now, which it kind of does.

“What was that for Zach?” He asks, after they pull apart from each other.

“You seemed like you needed it.”

“Thank you.” Chris says, letting some of the stress from the night’s events go. “But did you two leave any coffee for me?”

“Of course. You go lie down in bed, and I’ll bring you coffee. And I’ll do something to help you relax a bit.”

“Oh?” Chris says, perking up at the thought that Zach is going to try and help him relax in only ways he knows how to.

Zach dawdles in the kitchen for a bit, pretending to put more coffee on, grabbing stuff he had hid in some cupboards for when Chris got home that night.

Noticing that it’s taken much longer then it should have for Zach to enter their bedroom, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands and go make the coffee himself.

“Zach? What the....” He says, sneaking up on his boyfriend, only to see that Zach was busy setting up the table for some dessert.

“Oh. What are you doing out here? I thought I said to stay in the bedroom and I’d be right in?”

“You did, but I just got antsy. You know not to make me wait.” Chris says, picking up the jar of chocolate sauce, a spoon, and heading back to the bedroom. “Unless you were planning to use this sauce for something else, I suggest you follow me back and use it with what you were going to relax me with.”

Zach quickly grabs the rest of the stuff he wanted to use, and practically runs into the bedroom now that Chris knows the plan of what he was going to do.

“What were you going to do with the chocolate sauce, babe?”

“Oh I don’t know. Maybe drizzle some of it over you, let it harden and suck it off?” Zach says, while removing Chris’s shirt.

“Mm mm sounds nice. You could still do that.” He says, handing Zach the jar, after opening it himself.

Deciding it’s best not to waste time now that Chris knows what the plan was, Zach takes the spoon and dips it in, making sure to scoop out a nice large spoonful of chocolate, and drizzles a trail down his stomach, stopping at the top of Chris’s still done up pants. Letting it harden and cool a bit, he reaches up and scoops a bit and feeds it to Chris, licking up what doesn’t make it inside his mouth.

After Chris’s chin and lips are cleaned off, Zach works his way down his stomach, drizzling chocolate where ever he plans to lick or nibble at.

He does this for 10 minutes or so before working on taking Chris’s pants off, knowing that this is teasing the hell out of him, all the while making him forget what happened before.

“Mmm.” Chris lets escape from the back of his throat while Zach is licking the spot between his hipbone and bellybutton.

The teasing that Zach is currently doing, is more then enough for Chris’s semi hard cock to harden fully, and leak some pre-cum into his boxer briefs.

“God you’re so easy tonight, you wanton slut.” Zach jokingly says, knowing that what he’s doing with his tongue on the current spot it’s on is enough to get Chris off if he pleased.

Chris just moans a reply, unable to say more, as Zach is already removing his underwear, getting ready to take as much of him as he can into his mouth. He of course, forgets to drizzle chocolate over top, getting second hand excitement from Chris after all that teasing he had done before hand as foreplay.

As Zach takes all of Chris into his mouth, he hums a bit, trying to make this an experience that could set him off any moment, if done right.

He tightens the grip of his mouth before his slides down the shaft of Chris’s cock, adding his hands when he’s half way down it. With a pop, Zach slides his mouth completely off, letting his hands follow, before taking Chris back in.

Bobbing his head a bit, Zach makes sure to stay nothing higher then half way, focusing on licking the slit of Chris’s cock. He knows he doesn’t have much longer before Chris is fully there, so he adds the corkscrew move that he had loved the last time he used it on him. But this time, he sucks harder when he corkscrews, instead of lightly doing it, letting his teeth graze skin.

“More.” Chris manages to hiss out, letting Zach know he’s quite enjoying what is going on, even though he already knew that. Zach obliges.

He bobs a bit longer, slowly moving closer and closer to the slit of his cock, making sure to be as gentle as possible, feeling Chris’s orgasm draw closer and closer.

When he finally gets to the slit, he licks it lightly, before moving his mouth off his head, to use his hands instead. Massaging his nerve packed cock, Zach strokes Chris with his free hand, adding some lube when needed. He adds tiny licks with his tongue here and there, until Chris starts to spurt out come. Knowing that it will get messy, Zach takes Chris back into his mouth, catching his orgasm in time, as it drips down to the back of his throat in hot spurts. He holds Chris there until he’s completely finished, before he moves away.

Zach moves back to the top of the bed, kissing Chris at randoms spots on the way up, before settling on a pillow.

Chris, out of breath, trying to let his pulse calm down, leans into Zach to cuddle. Before falling asleep, he manages to say it’s his turn to return the favour when they wake up. Zach happily agrees.  
Tags: actor: chris pine, actor: zachary quinto,


	7. Marry You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris surprises Zach with something special in the mornin; Zach catches Chris looking for engagement rings; Chris takes his sister out to pick rings

After the night before, Zach oddly can't sleep. So he spends the night watching Chris sleep, reading a book, and figuring out how he is going to talk to Chris about why he left. He knows he needs to do so. Just like he knows that Chris used to want to know, but doesn't really care right now. Zach just needs to be honest for once in his life, and get things off his chest.

“Nom nom nom. This is really really good food sis.” Chris says, sleep talking.

Despite the fact that Chris might be dreaming about going to lunch at his sister’s, Zach keeps on reading, ignoring what else might get said in his boyfriend's sleep.

“No Katie. Please. You can't take my plate away. I'm not done!!” Chris continues to say in his sleep talk.

This time, he's whining while sleep talking, something Zach hates. So he nudges Chris to try and get him to stop, which unsuccessfully, doesn't work. Chris continues on, talking in his sleep, this time not about Katie and her dinner, but about Zach and Katie not getting along.

“Chris. Go back to sleep. You're annoying me right now,” he says, basically punching Chris to stop sleep talking.

Chris growls at Zach, or at least Zach thinks that he is the one being growled at. So instead of waiting for Chris to stop sleep talking, he gets out of bed and moves to the main room, bringing along a notebook and pen. Inside, he writes down ideas of how to talk about the break up .

Inside the notebook, Zach jots down a quick pro / con list, on why he should come clean.

PRO:  
\- He needs to know why I left  
\- It would make me feel so much better  
\- The truth never hurt anyone, right?

CONS:  
\- He would hate me  
\- I'd lose his trust  
\- I might lose him  
\- He'd sink back into the depression he was in when I left  
\- It'd be awkward on set if I told him why

Ignoring the fact that the Con side of this list is heavier then the Pro side, Zach goes ahead and decides that when Chris wakes up, he’s going to tell him the truth. Even if he might run the risk of losing Chris forever, he needs to do this. For the both of them. So he goes back to bed, suddenly sleepier then ever; even after sex; falling to a quiet slumber around Chris's arms for the rest of the night.

*  
“Hey, you awake?” Chris says, after waking up from sleeping past 10, to Zach, seeing as he seems to be asleep beside him.

When all Zach answers with is a “mmpf” and tries to bat Chris away, he goes all out to wake him up. Instead of his usual coffee run before waking Zach up, Chris does something even better, like a blow job.

While casually moving towards Zach’s waist, Chris notices that he is already hard for him.

“That sneaky bastard” Chris thought to himself. “I guess this will be easier then I thought.”

Wasting no time, Chris takes Zach fully into his mouth, bobbing slowly at first, gradually speeding up, humming at the same time. He does this for a bit, until he feels Zach stirring, acknowledging the fact that he is being woken up by a blow job.

“Mmmm.” Zach manages to say, half asleep, and half in enjoyment.

Chris takes this as his clue to move to a different technique. This time, he corkscrews back and fourth, gripping his mouth tightly, letting his teeth lightly graze. He’s rewarded with Zach gripping his hair as a sign of ecstasy.

He continues corkscrewing along with grazing his teeth against Zach’s shaft, alternating between sucking softly and hardly, sending Zach into oblivion as he fondles his balls with a free hand. It’s not too long after when Chris feels Zach’s orgasm, ropes of hot come, shooting into the back of his throat. Before swallowing Zach’s load, Chris reaches up, and gives Zach a kiss, letting him taste some of himself.

Chris swallows whatever is left in his mouth, before mentioning something about him going for a shower. But before he’s able to go anywhere, Zach holds onto his arm, letting a quiet but powerful “Thank you” escape his lips.

*  
Although Zach was woken up earlier from a surprise blow job, he doesn’t wake back up until hours later, to find Chris on the computer looking at rings. And the rings he’s looking at aren’t your ordinary rings. They seem to be engagement rings, which makes Zach swallow his thoughts - albeit a little too hard.

“Chris.......”

“Shit. Zach, you scared me. How long have you been standing there for?” Chris says, trying his hardest to minimize the website he had up, like it was something bad.

“Oh long enough to know that you’re looking at engagement rings.”

“Zach....It’s not what you think. Trust me. It’s not.”

“Then what is it? Because if you’re going to ask me to marry you again, then we need to have a talk.”

“A talk? What in the world do we need to talk about?” Chris says, stomach dropping, knowing full well what Zach needs to talk about.

“Chris. You know what we need to talk about.”

“Yes. But I’ve gotten over it Zach. It was months ago. Can’t someone get used to it and not need to know why their boyfriend, no, fiance just up and left?” He says, trying to keep his temper down at a time that should be joyous.

There’s an awkward silence between the two of them, leading Zach to squirm and fidget, which ultimately leads him to think and over think things.

“Zach. Please say something. If it really means that much to you that we have this talk, then maybe we can have it.”

“Okay” Zach responds, a little too shyly.

Chris nods.

“Okay. But can we please sit down? preferably not in the bedroom either?”

Chris leans in, kissing Zach’s forehead, all the while grabbing his hand to lead him into the kitchen. “Sure thing babe.”

They sit and chat in the kitchen for a couple of hours. Zach finally gets to explain why he left, making it known that it was just because he felt he wasn’t getting the admiration from Chris that he used to, and not because he had been cheating on him with his friend Matt. Promising that Zach will always be admired from Chris, and always has been, Chris also comes clean about what he had been doing those six months Zach had been in New York. Zach of course, vows to never let Chris feel as depressed as he did. And if another person ever makes him feel that way, Zach would always find a way to cheer him back up.

*

Two days later after the talk Zach and Chris had in the kitchen, Chris finds it an appropriate time to go back to ring shopping. This time, taking his sister out to ring shops, while getting her opinion on what she thinks Zach would like. He takes her to a shop where he had been able to talk to the owner before hand, making sure that they understood no paparazzi were allowed to be anywhere near the vicinity, and if they had showed up, Chris and his sister would need an alternative way out.

They look at about dozens of rings, before Chris is able to narrow it down to five.

“So Katie. Which one?” He asks, while having the jeweler display 5 different rings he had picked out earlier.

“Oh Chris. Honestly I think any of these five would be perfect for Zach. But if it were up to me, I’d go with ring number three. Right Armand?”


End file.
